Ben Oliver
The only way for me to talk about being raised by divorce parents is to start by saying, “Really? I didn’t notice.” I couldn't say how old I was when my parents divorced, because as a child, it was never anything I had to think about. Either I was very naive and/or my parents did an outstanding job of making sure that I never knew what it could feel like being raised in a ‘broken’ home. Not a day goes by that I don’t appreciate my parents and the way they raised me, however, I know things would have gone a much different direction if it wasn’t for Morehouse. Growing up in Morehouse, whether you were a child of a ‘single parent’, from a ‘broken home’ or any other variation from the societal norm, everyone looked after you, loved you and treated you like their own. I saw my parents when I wanted to see them and they saw me when they wanted to see me. My dad might make me breakfast or take me school, while someone else might pick me up and make me dinner. My mom might help me with English class or help me clean my room while my ‘other’ parents might help me with math or tuck me in at night. The reality is, I always had a community of people looking after me and making sure I was taken care of.
What is divorce? What our society has come to define it as, is not the same as when you live in Morehouse. Compared to a societal norm, I don't consider my parents divorced. Fighting? Lawyers? Custody? Abuse? Distrust? Separation? These words do not reflect the childhood I experienced - it was quite the opposite.
I consider my upbringing as extremely blessed. I had the best of everything and never considered life would be better under a traditional roof. My parents were happy - did they sleep in the same bed with one another? No, but what did I care? I was a kid. Did my parents ever fight or show signs of what a traditional divorce might look like? Surprisingly, no. To this day I have no memory of them ever fighting or showing dislike towards one another. As a child, I would selfishly only consider how something would affect me and I have only positive memories. My family loved me and I was happy.
To me, Morehouse has always been more about the extended family than the traditional family. As an only child with divorced parents, I had brothers and sisters and dozens of parents. I never had to go without, choose one parent over the next, witness fighting parents or feel like my happy home was being torn apart.
As an adult looking back on my life and thinking about my childhood, the truth is, I couldn’t have asked for better. My parents are still in each other's life and love one another. I can come home and see both of them at the same time all the while knowing there isn’t animosity in the room. Yes, my parents are divorced, but they are happy and that is all I could ever ask for. While society would define my childhood as one from a "broken" home, thanks to Morehouse, mine was “fixed” and I never knew there was anything wrong.
Today, I’m married with a family of my own. My wife and I are more in love and happier than ever. We live in a traditional family environment and I get great gratification on the life I've provided for my wife and children. I learned so much living at Morehouse that I use today in my family, my group. Life is good.