-Things I've Heard Vic Say


What is a Borange?

A "borange" is a concept that Vic described and named in the summer of 1976. He and Suzie were the first to be boranged. As he put it, "People have rejoiced and despaired in their relationships forever. Other terms like engagement, marriage, anniversary, annulment, divorce, etc., are dependent upon specific circumstances. There's no term to refer to the celebration of a relationship just as it is."

The idea is that a couple or a group of people who are pleased with the way things are between them get together and have the fun of identifying what's so great about their relationship - the love, the friendship, the commitment to one another. Then they throw a party to tell everyone of their good time and to celebrate their relationship with their friends.

The party starts with a ceremony where the borangees acknowledge their relationship and sometimes rings are exchanged. It's not a substitute for a wedding or marriage, just another form of commitment. It's not about making rules or changing anything, just describing what is. Boranges can and have taken place between couples, both married and unmarried, between groups of people, and between friends. To borange means you are having the most fun with this particular form of relating. The borange is usually celebrated on the same day every year - and hopefully, all the days in between!

Vic saw that the rules of relationships were changing and that among the reasons couple might choose to be boranged (not to the exclusion of marriage) is that it could be more gentlemanly to move away from titles of wife and husband and all the implied social obligations. Lots of people would like to enjoy commitment without being married. This is a way to do it and a way to get out of it.

Vic named this celebration a "borange," because it provided a solution to what he felt was a weighty problem that had long plagued poets and lyricists: the absence of any word in the English language to rhyme with orange.

People stay boranged as long as the deal is sweet. If you want to dissolve it, you get a "durple" (rhymes with purple.) Vic and Brian were the first people to get durpled. Brian still recalls that Suzie gave them a toaster oven when they got boranged and Vic got to keep it when they got durpled. The way you do that is you say "We're durpled!"

Some Boranges and Durples We Have Known

Vic and Cindy, July, 1976
They later married

Millie, Jonathan, Deborah, Keith, Gerry and Lynne: October, 1999

The six of us had been living together in the New York Morehouse for a number of years and we had gotten very adept at putting on parties. We loved the teamwork. Sitting together at a wedding and having a great time, we enthusiastically decided to throw a big party and get boranged. "JAM" (Jackie, Alec & Marilyn) came to town that week to teach a course and we ran the idea by them and they too thought it was great — Jackie was willing to officiate, making it an even more special event for us. Although we planned this only a day or two ahead, a surprisingly large number of friends showed up to witness our celebration. At Marty's suggestion, we all stomped oranges at the end. We have remained boranged, and are coming up on our tenth borange anniversary.

J'nae, Dica, Jack & Lil, February, 1982
(officiated by Suzie)


Joy & Tom
New Year's Eve 1977
They later married

Lori & Dick

Lori & Dick
February, 1982
They later married

Kiva and Michael, August, 2006

In this ongoing Morehouse experiment, I choose you, Kiva Tamar Lindsey, to be my best friend, my closest companion, lover, partner. Together we can reach for the good, celebrate living, and love as much as our limits allow and then surpass that. It is my intention to bring 100% responsibility to making this the most loving, fun, wonderful relationship ever! We are Morehouse made and may the love and passion from our relating spill over to those surrounding us and to the world beyond. This place is perfect. You are perfect. I love you.

Christina, Gwen & Anthony

Christina, Gwen, & Anthony
January, 2004

Marta & Jon

Jon and Marta, July, 2003
with Virginia's blessing

Kate and Amy

First in Hawaii after an Audience with Vic in August of 2000:

Amy and I were sitting directly in front of Vic in the front row when he
asked us if we were "special friends". When we said yes, he responded with,
"It's been done before, you know." Vic suggested a borange for us. We were
very enthusiastic about the idea. The borange took place in the living room of the Pupukea house the day after the Audience. The people in the house threw a great party for us, with Willie playing music and everyone dressed in their best Aloha finery. It was a great time.

Second borange was February 15, 2004. They later married:

Kate hadn't gotten anything for me on Valentine's Day, so she asked if I wanted to get boranged that night. We got boranged in the living room of the Atlanta Morehouse. It was very fun. Vic got us boranged, Sue got us married...what a love life.

Chris & Jackie

Chris & Jackie
February, 1993

Carol Sue, Susie, & Mickey

Mickey, Carol Sue, & Susie

Patrica, Dan & Jane, November 1993

Our borange took place at the Waipuna after nearly a year of closely relating. Joy Wagner officiated the ceremony. When it was fun, it was very, very fun, and when it was not, we got durpled. We remain friends to this day.